Chronic Illness Truth #16

I'm a young single adult and I should be having the time of my life, right!?  Not exactly...

​I always find myself at a loss for words whenever someone asks me what I've been doing "for fun" lately!  Not that juice cleansing, resting a lot, and Lyme treatment isn't fun or anything, but I'm pretty sure that's not the answer that most people are looking for.

The reality of chronic illness is that a lot of those who suffer in this manner do not have the energy or stamina to go out and have the kind of "fun" that everyone else is having.  The reality is that a lot of us are homebound and we've spent countless time coming to terms with the fact that having fun simply means not being in pain for a day, or even for a minute or an hour.  Lyme disease has often had its way of making me feel like "the flaky friend" or the "friend who never wants to go out."  Almost every chronic illness warrior shares the same story which results in dozens of friendships lost and insufferable loneliness because so many refuse to just love a person in pain and stillness.

Let me get to the main point here:  It's easy to be the "fair-weather friend."  It's easy to stick around when things are good.  It's easy to artificially love someone who always seems to be in the middle of an "epic adventure."  But in life, there will ALWAYS be fire.  And when that fire comes, those friends who only want you around without your burns and scars are really not your friends at all.

So here's a friendly tip to all my healthy friends:  When you have a friend who is suffering from the heat of chronic illness, the BEST thing you can do for them is to sit with them in that painful space and JUST BE THERE.  LISTEN.  And offer LOVE and SUPPORT.  You may not always be able to douse the flames of their life fire, but you can always help them bear the burden so they are not left to do it alone.

I am always amazed at the level of compassion that chronic illness warriors have for those who suffer because they've felt the burn themselves.  May we all strive to have that deep compassion and love for the sick and afflicted.

Comment below if you've experienced the loss of friendships because of your illness and what you need when you're in YOUR life fire.​