This phrase is used pretty frequently in my house: "We'll take care of you, but we won't feel sorry for you!" Sounds harsh right? It may sound a bit harsh at first, but when you live in a house with only chronically ill people, you learn really fast that if you waste time feeling sorry for each other you never get ANYTHING accomplished in a day!
We all know the reaction of "I'm so sorry!" that chronically ill people commonly receive from others. I always feel minorly guilty when someone tells me how sorry they are that I suffer from chronic illness, mainly because I'm not sorry. I won't downplay how difficult chronic illness can be. I won't downplay the trauma, the dark nights, and the excruciating pain... but through it all, I've found that I just don't have the time to be sorry about it. I talk about my illnesses the same way that any other person my age would talk about college or career because it is such a big part of my life. I mention it casually in conversation because hiding it can be exhausting, and I talk about it all the time because raising awareness for such realities is SO IMPORTANT because I believe in hope for the chronically ill.
With that said, chronic illness is a PART of me. That does not mean that it defines me or makes me any less of a person or any less capable. I may have certain disabilities that can make life a little harder. I may fight every day. I may face darkness that others don't have to, but I do all of these things unapologetically because self-pity will ultimately get me nowhere.
So when someone opens up to you about their illness or deep dark sufferings, tell them you LOVE them. Tell them you BELIEVE them. Tell them you are HERE for them and you're NOT LEAVING. "I'm sorry" often silences conversation in this context. Say you're sorry when you've wronged someone. Don't say you're sorry because you don't know what else to say. Illness is for sure a tragedy. But every single one of us is currently learning to transform tragedy into beauty, and pain into healing. We are all simply looking for people that are wiling to help us along in this journey.
Comment below if you can relate and what you'd prefer people say to you when you open up about your illness!