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Chronically Beautiful!

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Chronically Beautiful's General Statement about the Betrayal Trauma Series

8/16/2018

19 Comments

 
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In light of the massive upheaval that has arisen since my last series on betrayal trauma, I feel the need to make a general overall statement, mainly because it would take years to respond to the thousands of comments, and some of them I don't feel are worth responding to anyway. 

I've officially been bashed by the internet for my religion, my personality, my values, my mind, my writing, my experiences, my dreams, and anything else that people could manage to find wrong with me and those articles.  Congratulations, you've officially covered all of your bases.  I suppose most of you who made the rude comments, (if not all of you) feel like they're deserved, and you completely have a right to your own opinion.  But if you feel the need to write any more nasty comments on my blog, they are now immediately deleted on Chronically Beautiful simply because as the author of my own website, I have the freedom to choose what is shared and what is not, and I don't write things for the purpose of spreading hate. 

The things that people are willing to say to a complete stranger are quite shocking, and make an overall general negative statement about our society.  I find it ironic that for a society that is big on #noshame, everyone seems perfectly okay with shaming and harassing innocent people on the internet.  It's okay to have differing opinions than mine.  In fact, it's more than okay.  But there's certain class, civility, and eloquence that anyone can demonstrate when stating their different opinions, which some people showed in their comments.  You can absolutely state how you think or feel without brutality.  Nobody deserves to be treated in such a way, including myself.

I want to take a minute to address the religious aspect of the argument.  Most of you have figured out by now that I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I love my religion, and it brings me great joy and happiness.  No, the "Mormons" are not a cult, and just because someone is religious and believes in God does not mean we automatically belong to a cult.  It does mean that I believe in a most high God who loves ALL of his children, including my ex-fiance, and every single one of you.  It means that I value chastity, which means abstinence from sexual relationships before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage.  You do not need to agree with my values to respect my values.  And just because I have a high-value system does not mean that I'm "self-righteous" or that I believe that I'm perfect.  Of course, I have my flaws... but there is a major difference between making mistakes, and sexual promiscuity.

One thing I want to point out is that true love does not and cannot exist unless it is governed by God's law.  This includes chastity, fidelity, loyalty, and honesty.  Without those things, TRUE love does not exist.  And those who proclaim that it does are usually not very happy themselves.  Of course, marriage is hard and there's no perfect marriage. But overall, marriage was created to bring more joy and happiness than pain and heartache.  But to those who think I "jumped ship," you're right... I did.  Because when someone in  an engagement decides to violate God's laws, honesty doesn't exist. And neither does love. At that point, because we were not yet married, it was not my job to "fix him."  (When has a woman ever tried to "fix" a man and it's actually worked anyway!?) It's his job to fix himself.  That doesn't mean I can't offer love and forgiveness.  Which I did at the time and still do... but forgiveness does not equate to sticking around where I can be hurt multiple times over.  You don't reach repentance and change by being coddled every step of the way.  Leaving was an act of love because I care more about what happens to him in the next life than I do about having a "picture perfect wedding" in the here and now.  No woman should ever be guilted into marrying anybody.     

I also want to state that I think a large majority of people are missing the point of why I wrote these articles.  I was completely aware when I posted these that I would get some backlash.  But those people that are whipping me with their tongues are not the audience that I wrote this series of articles for.  So honestly, if it makes you that angry, there is literally no reason why you have to read what I write.  I didn't write them to shame men, women, or porn addicts.  I didn't write them to shame my ex-fiance.  I didn't write them to get attention (why on earth would anyone actually want this much attention?).

​The reason I wrote these articles is because there are hundreds and thousands of women out there (and I'm sure some men too) who have been through similar things.  Some of these people that I have met personally have continuously told me that they have experienced so much pain from their loved one's pornography addiction, but they can't talk about it precisely because of the social backlash that I have received from this topic.  I write for these women.  I write for these women that finally have a voice now (as you can see from the comments on LOVE WHAT MATTERS).  I write for these women so they can see that despite the men or other people in their lives who betray their trust, they still have worth and there is hope that their hearts will be healed.

I also believe it's quite appalling that anybody invalidates anyone else's pain.  Everybody feels and expresses things on different levels, and just because we live in a society that is insanely numb, does not mean that everyone has to be numb and emotionless.  Nobody would ever laugh at someone who was in a car accident and lost an arm.  So why is it okay that we mock other people's emotional pain?  If the shoe was on the other foot and it was YOUR emotional pain caused by someone close to you betraying YOUR trust, it wouldn't be so funny now would it?  I also want to point out that I suffer from a chronic illness called Chronic Lyme Disease.  The nature of Lyme disease itself is that it can drill into your nervous system, and therefore it causes a heightening of the senses.  This is usually accompanied by deep negative emotion, anxiety, or depression.  So when a Lyme patient's life is thrown a hardball, it is extremely hard to process at first.  So to those who think I'm "immature" and "overly dramatic"...  That's not exactly a card you can play if you don't live in my own skin.  I simply wrote what I was feeling at the time, and if you actually read the other two parts you would find that the conclusion was that I'm happy with the decision I made, and that I did overcome the pain I was feeling.

Okay, let's address the pornography issue for a minute here...

First of all... to those who think I just destroyed my ex-fiancé's life... Let me clarify:  We already had over 300 invitations to our wedding sent out.  We had to call every single one of those people and tell them what happened to inform them that the wedding was off.  Pornography addiction does not just affect you.  Pornography addiction affects the people around you, and it's only so long before the truth is going to come out.  Because of the nature of my situation, it's not a secret among our friends and family.  It never was.  I didn't write the articles to bash my ex-fiance.  And the things I did write simply stated what happened, and how I felt about it.  That's it!  I forgive my ex-fiancé, and I hope the best for him and his life. 

I recognize that pornography addiction is a massive struggle for some people, and I want to point out here that my heart goes out to anyone who is caught in the grasp of it.  I do NOT feel hatred towards the people who struggle from addiction.  I feel sad because I know how much it destroys love, family, and happiness.  But I don't feel hatred.  If you read the whole post, you would have read that eventually I had to stop seeing myself as the victim in the situation because that's part of moving on and healing.  Similarly, the people who are addicted to porn need to stop seeing themselves as the victim too.  Because if you say that a porn addict is a victim, you're not giving them any hope to overcome the addiction.  Clearly, there needs to be MORE HOPE in this world.

Pornography addiction is a very difficult plague.  I will never claim that it's not.  And whether you believe that pornography addiction is an illness or not is irrelevant, because the problem is that so many people use the word "addiction" and "illness" as a way to justify their actions, in which case they will never overcome it.  There are two roads you can take when you find yourself in this place.  One road will always lead back to the addiction.  And the other road leads to Christ who paid the price for ALL pain.  One road leads to shame, isolation, and other sexual addictions, and the other road leads to repentance and change.  Christ paid the price for those struggling with pornography.  Does it take some stretching and some difficulty to overcome?  Of course, it does!  But it isn't impossible.  It's possible with Christ's enabling power.  You don't have to live life with a serious sexual addiction.  There is life without porn addiction, and believe it or not, there can be life AFTER porn addiction depending on how YOU CHOOSE to get help and how YOU CHOOSE to help yourself.

I also want to take a minute to address the people who claim "it's just porn."  There are HUNDREDS of statistics on how harmful pornography is on the brain, relationships, and the world.  If you don't believe me, you can visit fightthenewdrug.org where it outlines and explains what pornography does, and why it's so harmful.  There is nothing natural or healthy about indulging in pornography.  To say that "all men look at porn" is to say that all men care more about self-gratification and sexual desire than they do about their wives, daughters, sons, and the other people they love in their life.  I don't believe that all men are like that... In fact, I know some incredible men who are not like that, and porn is not a part of their lives, or they're trying incredibly hard to eliminate it from their lives.  Kudos to those men.  Kudos to them for valuing greater things in their lives.  The reason why pornography is such a massive epidemic in society is because it's so socially acceptable.  There is nothing wrong with hoping for a greater future for our world than one filled with porn, addiction, and adultery.

I want to conclude this post by thanking all the wonderful women and men who have positively reached out to me in the past few days, and I want to offer tremendous love to all the people who have given support and banned together on this issue.  Keep on keeping on and stay strong!  There is always hope and happiness ahead!
19 Comments
James
8/20/2018 23:27:50

As a Christian myself I have to ask if you ever considered that your response is unbiblical. According to the Bible if you have a problem with your brother you should take it to him one-on-one. If he doesn't listen you take another believer to confront him. If he still doesn't listen you bring him before the elders and the church for discipline. If he still does not listen then the church is to treat him as an outsider. Now I think your response of breaking off the relationship was absolutely right on the money and I can imagine it's very hard all the way around. But what about you making his sins so public? What if someone you had wronged in the past documented everything you did that was being and put it on the internet for the whole world to see? I do not wish to blaze you for his poor choices. He betrayed you and was very obviously in the wrong. But from Christian to Christian, I have to be frank and tell you that I think this public display is more gossip and slander of your brother who fell into sin, and that by calling him put publicly you are also sinning against him. Again, if we're talking about things from a Biblical standpoint, you have every right to break off the relationship and move on, but you don't have the right to call out another believer in front of the world, especially in front of non-believers. I'm sure you will delete my comment, but I hope that you will at least read it and think about it and let it sink in. Two wrongs never make a right.

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kimsland
8/21/2018 22:50:26

"According to the Bible if you have a problem with your brother you should take it to him one-on-one. If he doesn't listen you take another believer to confront him. If he still doesn't listen you bring him before the elders and the church for discipline. " (which obviously the 'elders' are also 'brothers' right? :) )

Well there we go we have a perfect representation of where your bible is wrong.
So as she mentioned she felt abused and it really effected her badly BUT your reply was take lots of time and go to other church MEN and ask for their help? Obviously whilst the abuse continued? Hmm, that would be against modern psychology and even common sense right? I mean if you (the man) was being abused should you just book into church counceling and wait, that's your idea?

This 'Claire' stated it was a medical (although she forgot to provide the doctors report) ADDICTION that was affecting her badly. So just go and speak with Christians about this issue? Strange I didn't see you write doctor or specialist, just other Christian men!

"I have to be frank and tell you that I think this public display is more gossip and slander of your brother who fell into sin, and that by calling him put publicly you are also sinning against him."

?

That damn bitch Claire right? I SAY its because she's a Christian WOMAN, how dare she :) :) :) :)
Seriously lets hope ALL women read such a horrible thing you just wrote. You are suggesting its all Claire's fault??? Wow, an excellent representation of a Christian I'll give you that. Sadly because Claire is also presently indoctrinated she won't see how abusive your comment is, but I DO. How dare you be such an idiot.

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James
8/22/2018 13:02:33

First of all, I am a woman. My parents named me James after my grandfather, but I usually go by Jamie. So as far as my comments being abusive, your assumption of me being a man is a bit funny. Also, I clearly stated that I thought she was right to break off the relationship and get rid of this man that did this to her, and that I did not blame her for his actions. However, she's using the Bible to defend her decision (that he lusted after other women), but her putting this man's sins out for the world to see is just as biblically wrong as him doing what he did. I absolutely support her decision to heal and do what she needs to do privately. However, as a woman that has gone through this myself, I do not agree and will never agree to a Christian (woman or man) putting another Christian's sins on display for everyone else to gawk at. It's a terrible example.

kimsland
8/22/2018 18:29:30

James there is no 'Reply' button (at least presently) under your last post, so I'm replying under your original comment regarding your last reply.

You said:
I do not agree and will never agree to a Christian (woman or man) putting another Christian's sins on display for everyone else to gawk at.

But her original interview or quote to do with that Claire said:
"Experiences like this MUST BE TALKED ABOUT,” she wrote in the post, “because keeping quiet only leaves deeper wounds and undeniable scars.”

Plus your statement of keeping Jesus sins (which I obviously think is nonsense talk but that's not the argument here) quiet, is promoting others (say like choir boys) from bringing out in the open sexual abuse claims by Catholic Priests!
You agree with this concern I hope? By stating: you don't like "sins on display" you are enabling a hush hush style of response to abused children in the church effectively keeping them quiet, I mean the church will handle it right? WRONG as we have confirmed numerous times in the news.

Yes I use this example because you did not specify which Jesus sins are ok to be all public and which aren't, you basically (well clearly) said ALL Jesus sins should not be publicized, and I expect you to say that your comment was wrong, if you have any compassion for children in the church.
Even this girl is a child, she is 21 but said her relationship was some years, I mean lets face it she has been abused!

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Paul
8/21/2018 00:27:49

Hello. I was addicted to Porn since high school. I was brought up in church all my life, was involved in high school ministry since high school, played in church as a musician and still do. Porn is one of the worse things that can take hold of a person. I compare it to a drug that shows no outward effects, but one that consumes the mind. I hid this addition from my family, and my wife. When confronted one day, I denied it and tried to gaslight my wife. I was so ashamed, that i thought the only option was to hide it, thinking that telling my wife would be worse.

After years of being an expert at hiding it, it eventually was too hard and it all came out in the open. My wife was broken, my family ashamed. I almost lost it all. The only way I made it through and have been porn free for over 18 months is.


1. Believing that I am righteous by the blood of Jesus, not by my works. (Galatians 2:16)
2. Going to a Psychologist and breaking down who I am as a person, and what make my mind tick.
3. Having an accountability pastor, who I can speak freely too. 4. Going to Marriage Counselling with my wife, as we had to learn to communicate properly. I now tell my wife if I am having a day, were temptation is high or I feel like I am on a train (figuratively)heading to looking at porn. Before I was so afraid of telling her, but now I can and it works and stops that temptation turning into a sin.

I hope that you can find a place in your heart to forgive your ex partner. I don't expect you to try and get back together, but forgiveness is the only way to move forward. He didn't do it because he thought you were not attractive, or he valued porn over you. It is a temptation that he could not control, and it will also be there unless he can overcome it through counselling, accountability and believing in Jesus.

I hope you can give him another chance, and learn to be able to talk to him about it openly, without condemnation.

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kimsland
8/21/2018 22:39:38

"He didn't do it because he thought you were not attractive, or he valued porn over you. It is a temptation that he could not control, and it will also be there unless he can overcome it through counselling, accountability and believing in Jesus."

She said that it was an addiction that affected her badly. Wait you read the article right? She even mentioned that all this is not about 'righteous' men are the best in religion issues!!! SHE said it affected her badly AND it was a medical (although she forgot to write confirmed medical) addiction!

Therefore the best 'psychologist' (you mention) would help her by stating if this abuse that is effecting her badly cannot be stopped then LEAVE.
Do you agree that couples should leave each other if say the woman feels she is being abused? Can't wait for your response on that simple question :) And heads up to Claire THIS is your standard 'christian man' LOL

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Pri
8/21/2018 01:13:24

Righteousness Is Not Right Doing But Right Being

Romans 4:5
5But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness,

What do you think righteousness is about? Something you do or something you are? Right doing or right being?

The Bible tells us that after Jesus’ sacrifice at the cross, God imputes righteousness not to those who strive to obey the law (Galatians 2:16), but to anyone who believes in His Son. Because Christ took our sins and gave us His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21), the moment we believe in Him, God treats us as righteous apart from our works or obedience. (Romans 4:5–8) This is new covenant righteousness — a righteousness that comes by faith and not works.

You are not righteous because of how morally upright you are. You are not righteous because you exercise self-control. You are not righteous because you read 10 chapters of the Bible daily. You are not righteous because you feel righteous. But you are the very righteousness of God in Christ solely because the sacrifice of Jesus made you so. When you believe this, your faith is accounted for righteousness.

And this is what God wants you to use your faith for. If you are righteous by your deeds, you don’t need faith. You also don’t need faith to know that you are sinful. But you need faith to believe and declare that you are the righteousness of God in Christ, in the midst of your struggles with temptation and sin.

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SUBU
8/21/2018 12:54:20

I'm a former LDS bishop, and current physician living in Salt Lake County. Here are my observations hopefully they can help.

Almost every male fifteen to fifty, that I interviewed or counseled as a LDS Bishop has looked at porn and masturbated to it from time to time. I can almost guarantee you will not find a LDS young man who one would consider a good catch for marriage even by the most minimum standards who doesn't. Does that mean these are terrible people? No they are normal men, who are trying to do their best. There are plenty of women as well looking at pornography. LDS culture has some serious cultural baggage concerning sexuallity that unfortunately tends to affect and hurt many good people.

I had a couple in a similar situation, she was headed out the door but they choose to delayed the wedding for 6 months, so they could work on things.Through compassion, and love for each other, they found a good therapist who was able to guide them through the issues so they could be open honest and sharing about their sexuallity and also be respectful for each others boundaries. The wedding did happen later and they are very happily married with two children.

I learned alot from that couple. Maybe you will learn something from your experience, both with your ex-fiance and in posting your experience.

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kimsland
8/21/2018 22:32:18

Oh a 'bishop' I can't pass a chance to reply to someone so deluded as you.

You don't need to explain your 'every boy you interviewed masturbated over porn' personal experience response! Since we already have conclusive evidence by science that masturbation is quite natural. What if your experiences of these 15yo's were bad personal experiences? Would you then say every boy stated they masturbated and I set them straight!
To be clear 'experiences' are not knowledge or reason or even wisdom. The term: Wise old man, has been fully falsified. ie Not all men who become old automatically become wise through their experiences! Even a 10yo girl can be wiser than an old experienced man and can tell him a thing or two, I expect you to agree with that modern scientific understanding, although I doubt you will.

You then went on about the standard Christian counseling?? But if you had read her rants she specifically stated it effected her in a bad way. You ARE aware that a woman should NOT put up with any abuse right? I mean the BEST psychological or (real) marriage councilor would state: If one of you are being hurt then the best most viable solution is to immediately STOP the hurting practice or separate! Not try and resolve things in some type of compromise!!! I mean this really shows your inadequacies and anti-modern approach to this stated: ADDICTION that caused her painful emotions! NOT natural masturbation 'experiences'!!

Oh and the last point was 'a lot' is two words, just a personal irritation I get from uneducated others, you understand ;)

A bishop? Where are you on atheist forums they LOVE your responses :)
No reply required, but seriously wake up.

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Julie
8/21/2018 14:16:27

I am glad to see that you are beginning to heal from this experience. God loves all of his children the same and I am glad to see that you are growing from this experience, I know the road for you has been long and hard the past couple of years. Good luck with all of your endeavors!

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Belzebub F Nurdledurdle
8/22/2018 09:29:06

Are you autistic?

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Lane
8/22/2018 11:22:26

Julie, I was a bishop for five years and have been a lawyer for forty years. Based on my understanding of things, I think you're headed in a direction that will bring you a life of loneliness and frustration. In spite of all you've heard, and just for the sake of our discussion here, there are no evil men or good men, per se. There are only men where the line between good and bad goes down the middle just slightly to the right or left. There are sexless men out there. But for the rest of us, and any man you want to marry, we are sexual creatures, capable of honor, fidelity, loyalty, etc. As I would tell any young man, try to keep control of your passions, but don't beat yourself to death over the small things. And, yes, these are ridiculously small things.


One last thing. There probably isn't such a thing as pornography addiction. It's just an aspect of the male human condition, and a silly one at that. I remember a class at BYU years ago where the professor had us laughing over the fact that a male turkey will try to mount and have sex with any stick sticking out of the ground with a red kerchief tied to it. While he had us giggling, he pointed out us that two-dimensional photos did nothing for the male turkey, whereas for human males the lure of two dimensional images of female humans was irresistible. Question: which of the two species is the most ridiculous? Hard saying, because what ever is going on is hard wired. Julie, you aren't, nor should you be, capable to rewiring the human brain. Don't make a good man into something pathological.

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kimsland
8/22/2018 19:10:37

Another silly bishop, they definitely swarm onto young adults as soon as they get a chance! At least you have formal legal knowledge so you'd KNOW that if a partner is feeling pain and suffering from a claimed pornography addiction (and by the way YES obviously just like gaming, pornography CAN be an addiction - how wouldn't you know this??).

So she has claimed she felt like a victim and this brought pain and suffering on her. The consequences of her partner's labelled 'addiction' was that she ended the relationship. I mean should have she continued to be abused????

"there are no evil men or good men, per se. There are only men where the line between good and bad goes down the middle just slightly to the right or left."

Um, there are NO evil babies being born and growing up to be evil adults at ALL.
There are only 'evil' (or bad) actions of others.
Imagine saying what you said in court :)
Well judge they swayed towards evil, I rest my case :)
The judge will throw you out! It is the ACTION that is bad, the person themselves may even mead their bad action ways whilst in jail and live a perfectly normal life. Its NOT 100% criminals stay 100% criminals because they are slightly 'evil'. Have you lost your mind?

"Question: which of the two species is the most ridiculous?"

Well since we confirm evolution is a FACT, then certain instinctive behaviors can only be controlled through understanding (specifically knowledge and reason). The human species is able to look much further beyond their selfish needs. Similarly communities of other animals and species do the same thing on a lesser scale. ie Neither are ridiculous.
We place laws on many of our natural instincts to help the VICTIM, you know Claire in this case.

There is no pornography addiction :D Lol, only a deluded theist would suggest that he was 'evil'. LOL.

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JR
8/22/2018 12:56:00

The author should read "Shadow or Reality" by Jerald Turner. But even this tome does not go near far enough, there's a much deeper explanation in regards to religion, found in these books: https://www.richardcarrier.info/archives/14447

Religion destroys critical thought (and relationships) in ways which are being expressed by the author. All the false notions she has about God, religion, truth, etc., can be better understood by understanding the historical facts about religion - not what she has been "taught to believe" and came to embrace.

Now she's grandstanding, which naive people are inclined to do - rejecting sound advice, experience and wisdom from all kinds of people who are far more learned then she is. That's too bad - because she is bringing herself to a lifetime of pain, hurt and disappointment over this matter. There's no doubt that deep regret will eventually arise.

And yes, Mormonism IS a cult, but then again, all religions are actually cults. I spent years and years in Ogden and have my own stories to tell about cult-activities in the region. But I then later learned about religion on a much broader scale by engaging in serious decades-long research from world-class scholars and historians. I too was once incredibly naive about my church, religion, Christianity, etc., but not anymore.

The problem with religion, and especially the Mormon's "version" is it does not depict reality. It's just as addictive as pornography and maps the same synapses and neurons that any addiction can make in the human brain. Moreover, it portrays a false world-view that does not reflect reality, distorting virtually everything through a 'filter' system that only permits what is deemed acceptable.

The problem with this should be obvious - you're not getting the whole story about the world around you, or historical fact, history or even what you 'think' about the future. You've been programmed to perceive the world a particular way - and it's false. This will lead to numerous life-changing decisions, some of which will be catastrophic for you and your quality of life and expectations.

This is the best advice you will have ever received, but until you open up your mind to the real facts, you won't receive this information.

Time is the great teacher and you obviously need a lot more time to both grow up and gain wisdom about your beliefs. They are not what you think they are.

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kimsland
8/22/2018 18:53:30

I obviously fully agree JR (as a passing commenter).
True their religious beliefs ARE bad addictions in the first place all of theism is. Although we define it as indoctrination because even when explained the reality of the matter, they don't suddenly say: Oh well its obviously nonsense. I mean that would be good :)

But in regards to THIS article, she has stated that he had a medical addiction (although she forgot to provide the doctor's report ironically) towards pornography. And although its most likely her religion speaking, we must go by what she said. She said it effected her negatively and even felt like a victim at one point! In all definitions of psychological mental abuse, what she said DID fall into the category that she felt abused by her addicted fiance' and therefore she rightly so broke it off.

So the article addresses he point of known abuse. (and then she throws in a lot of the theism nonsense) so the replies should really address that at least in part! Whereas your reply didn't! Even deluded theists can be abused (as well) in other ways. She wasn't admitting her nonsense beliefs were abusive, she was addressing the pain she received from someone's pornography addiction.

I agree it all seems obviously intertwined with her absurd beliefs, but its baby steps. Get her away from the 'abuse' (she already did that) of someone else's addiction THEN speak about why she has made bad choices in life. I mean we can't kick her whilst she's down (possibly not the best description, because its not kicking its helping her understand).

She's not out of it yet but she needs to begin to reason on a basic level first and that'll take time.

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kimsland
9/12/2018 19:01:49

@Johnny (now deleted reply, possibly due to understanding you are in error?).

Yes thank you for the correction on effected should have been affected. I'm happy to learn from these mistakes, although at least I'm beyond the horror 'alot' spellings we see by ill-informed adults.

Regarding your 'guy' reference that somehow men and women should be treated differently under law due to biological differences.
1. All people regardless of their sex, are equal under the real law.
2. Females also masturbate its not a 'guy' thing!

You said: "Get it right -- he didn't abuse his wife. He may have broken her trust, but he didn't abuse her."

What part of he has an 'addiction' didn't you understand?
Wait, are you suggesting he LIED to her when he openly stated he has an addiction? By the way, she thankfully wasn't his wife! So the church can't command her to submit to her man LOL

Either he LIED or he truthfully has an addiction. There is only one other choice: He has been misinformed and doesn't realize that natural masturbation of all people, is not actually an 'addiction'.

Therefore we have the choices of: He has an addiction OR he lied OR his mind was too immature or possibly uneducated to understand its all just natural. Have you ANY other alternatives?

I understand you are highly likely a deluded Christian, I use knowledge (namely evidence) and reason. Who do you think may likely understand the situation better? Hint: Delusion is not a good trait :)

Do you know why I have replied to all the deluded Christian replies? To expose their awkward ridiculous uneducated responses. Your apology is pre-supposed ;)

Dalia
8/23/2018 00:35:34

I totally agree with your actions. People don't understand unless it's happened to them as it did to me. I felt betrayed and deceived that my husband had been viewing porn constantly behind my back, even whilst I was sleeping.My trust in him was greatly damaged and my feeling about myself was very low. How could I compare to these young women when I was so much older than them ? Who was this man that I was married to ? Was there anything else he was keeping from me ? I am sure you have felt the same way about your fiancee. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

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Headhunter
8/23/2018 03:53:56

Wow! You clearly devote A LOT of time to your blog. It’s like a job, even an addiction...

FYI, there are other ways to spend your time, help disabled people, and get paid:

https://www.facebook.com/MiniMocksCC/videos/274799143119200/

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Andrew
3/12/2019 21:19:35

Claire stands by her faith, her wishes and way of life. She's my friend and I support, respect and honor her in her decision and what she believes in. None should ever be compared or compete with such trash of evil and darkness, in any relationship and marriage. I believe she did the right thing and to do what was best. I also value the same thing she values in a relationship and marriage. I stand by and with her, as she continues on through her journey in life. I believe in and I'm proud of you Claire! 1Timothy 4:12 :)

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    I'm Claire, I have Chronic Lyme Disease, and I believe that life is absolutely beautiful!
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Disclaimer: For Educational and Informational Purposes Only.  The information provided by Chronically Beautiful is for educational and informational purposes only, and is made available to you as self-help tools for your own use.  All and any information given on my website is for the purpose of sharing information to help you help yourself, and not for me to take on any other role as any health professional.
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